Saturday

Today I have spent the day in the Special Care Nursery with Marianne.  It has been nice to watch her, hold her and talk to her.  We have worked on feeding together and that is not going well.  It has been really good to see how much the nurses here seem to love my Marianne.  Thursday night, we had called to check on her and learned that the nurse had given Marianne her first tub bath.  Marianne LOVED it.  I was so upset.  Another milestone reached, but not with me and not at home.  It would be very very easy for me to curl up in this yucky blanket of self-pity.  Instead, Gino and I made arrangements for me to be here for the day, and to give Marianne her first tub bath from her Mama.  No one else can do that.  :)   The nurse, Olivia, was awesome showing me some great new tricks on how to keep the baby comfortable and warm throughout.  And Marianne's primary nurse, Jamie, from NICU was visiting us at the time, so she was our photographer.  It was perfect.  And Marianne LOVED it... she really did!  I've never seen a baby sleep through a bath!!!  But I have pictures to prove it.

So about Marianne's feeding... well, we just don't know what is going on. She doesn't seem to be able to take more than 25 ml. She is supposed to take 60 ml. She just does not like to swallow. She gets tired so quickly, she won't actively engage in her feeding. Reflux? Asphixiation with swallowing? Immaturity? We don't know. I am hoping and praying that we will have more anwers on Monday. Dr. King has given orders to have a swallow test Monday morning. She'll swallow something while being x-rayed so that they can actually SEE what is going on in her throat. It is a little invasive, but it is time for some answers so that we can better meet her needs. She is healthy in EVERY other way. We just need to figure out how to get her to take a bottle.


Marianne's due date came and went and we still do not have a come home date. I'm hoping in about 2 weeks....but I've been saying that for about a week now.
TRUST.

Gino and I had the house clean for several showings that were going on today. We were out of the house by 11 a.m. He took all the kiddos to eat, and than to visit his parents. They always enjoy that. Nonna and Paw Paw keep a freezer stocked with lots of icecream bars. Paw Paw has coloring pictures printed from online curtailed to each child's interests... airplanes, dolphins, fairies, flowers... very sweet.

So this house does not seem to want to let go of us! We are having many showings, but so far, no offers. Maybe we are meant to stay? Oh, but it is so small!!!!

TRUST.

In the back of my head, I keep thinking that there are such bigger issues out there, and a small house is no big gig. And keeping the house on the market is as big a deal as we make it. This is not life threatening, just inconvenient. I can't wait for the day to come when I can sit, nurse my baby- or bottle feed her- and watch the children playing with a mess of toys... and not worrying about a call to show the house. I think this day will come very soon. Maybe in about 2 weeks.